Friday, March 25, 2011

Part 3

Fine Print

Before reading this post please not my "fine print". I almost didn't write about this topic for fear of offending anyone or stepping on toes. But dang it, I need to vent and this is my blog. If you don't like it, don't read it :)

*** I know that many woman have had and are in worse situations. I know that we are just starting into this journey. I know that some of my fears are irrational. And above all else - I KNOW GOD IS IN CONTROL AND HAS HIS TIMING FOR EVERYTHING. But none of these facts have been able to stop my fears, worries and anxiety (those may all be synonyms).

So, please know, I am not throwing myself a pity party or saying I have it worse than anyone out there. I just need to share and most of all, I hope to find some advice from woman who have been through this. ***

Part 3

In January 2010, Jake and I decided it was time for us to start a family. We knew it would be expensive and hard but we felt ready. We had a home and we felt as financially stable as we could be. We don't believe in that whole "wait until you can afford it" thing. We agree that it will probably never feel like we can "afford" a child.

This lasted a month or two and then TPS started talking about layoffs. We knew that without insurance and two incomes we wouldn't be able to eat, much less take care of a child. So, we put that on hold. By the time I had another job lined up, I had a tonsillectomy scheduled for July and we all know that narcotic pain medications and pregnancy shouldn't mix. So, we let July and August go by and then we got back to business.

Hehe. Sorry for that :) I couldn't help myself. Besides, how else was I supposed to put it?

Then came September and then October. Nothing. Then November and December. Still nothing. Well, nothing for me anyways. At that point I think there was something in the water. It seemed like there were A LOT of pregnancy announcements all around us. It bothered me a lot at first and then I had a Come to Jesus moment and realized how incredibly selfish it was of my to feel anything less than excitement for those families.

In December I had my yearly appointment with "The Duck" and I talked to my OB/GYN about all of this. I knew that it was still too early to really get worried. But she started the conversation and I started asking questions.

She asked me the usual questions and noted my history of "irregularity" (sorry for the TMI, it's part of the story). She confirmed that it was still too early to be worried. But because of my history, she believed that I would PROBABLY NEED HELP GETTING PREGNANT. Those were the dreaded words I hoped to not ever hear.

She and I agreed that we would continue on for a few more months and if nothing happened then she would put me on Clomid. She explained that Clomid isn't a scary fertility drug but it just helps makes sure you ovulate regularly. We would try that for awhile and then go from there.

So, here we are at the end of March. Still - nothing. I think I will give it one more go around then call about the Clomid.

The purpose to this comes in Part 4...


Anonymous said...

Don't forget that you are also a fav neice!!
uncle tommy

danielle said...

My honest advice:

Do as much research as you can do.
Did they mention PCOS? Do you have symptoms of PCOS?
Start temping: first thing every morning with a BBT, before you get out of bed. You can see major things in a temp chart.
Start using OPK's. (If you have PCOS this may not be effective.)
Learn as much as your can about YOUR body...everyone isn't typical and ovulate on Day 14 or whatever.
If it's been more than a year of ttc there is no reason to keep trying without doing other testing.
Have they done testing to prove definitely that you don't ovulate?
Has Jake had an SA? Embarrassing, but needs to be done.
I HATE it when dr's say it's too early to worry. It's NEVER too early to worry about YOUR body and YOUR fertility. Maybe if they were dealing with it personally they would have a different opinion. If my first ob/gyn would have tested me for PCOS when I first complained about my problems I would have had a diagnosis at least 3 years earlier.
Along with the PCOS testing ask for a fasting glucose level. With PCOS comes insulin resistance. You may not be able to feel the changes in your body, but taking the medication makes a huge difference.
Ask about clotting issues. Again, maybe not necessary, but I truly blieve that played a part in my 3 miscarriages. Started baby aspirin and I believe that helped me get Lexi here safely.
Long story me if you have any questions.